I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
