Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
