He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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