Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
