dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize