Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
