Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
