i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
