It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
