They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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