remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize