I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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