Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
