i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You took a bar mat shot.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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