It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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