My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
