I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
love makes seman taste better
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
