I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
