...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize