If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
