i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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