There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
