Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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