I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
A+ Viking dick
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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