what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
