a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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