I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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