So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
