But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
They have beer where we have blood.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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