it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
