i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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