So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize