watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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