I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
