So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize