I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
