dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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