I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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