im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
