Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
