The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
