playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She bit a glass in half.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize