like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
