I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
