get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
