Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
