i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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