oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
