i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Who wears a wallet chain?!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
