how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
