Christians are straight up FREAKS
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
