Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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