Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
