Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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