She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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