Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
