Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize