just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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