Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
