Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
