Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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