i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
